Talk Pants and help keep your child safe from abuse.

The Underwear rule is a simple way that parents can keep their children safe from abuse. We know that talking about your child private parts can be difficult, but you can have simple conversations without using scary words such as sex.

The NSPCC campaign supports you to have these conversations by using the word PANTS.

PANTS stands for;

Privates are Private explain to your child that parts of their body covered by underwear is private.  No one should ask your child to touch or look at parts of their body that is covered by underwear.
If anyone tries to touch their private part, tell the child to say NO and to tell an adult they trust about what has happened.
In some situation, people such as family members at bath time, or Doctors or Nurses  – may need to touch your child’s private parts. Explain that this is ok but those people should always explain why and ask your child if it is ok.

Always remember your body belongs to you. Let your child know their body belongs to them and no one else.
It can be helpful to talk about  the difference between a Good touch and a Bad touch;
Good Touch – is comforting like a hug or a kiss from someone you love
Bad Touch – is being touched in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable.

No one has the right to make them do anything that makes them feel uncomfortable. And if anyone tries they them they have the right to say no.  This might be a good time to remind your child they can talk to you anytime about anything that worries or upsets them.

No means No make sure that your child understands that they have the right to say “no” to unwanted touch – even to a family member or someone they love.  This shows that they are in control of their bodies and their feelings should be respected.  If a child feels comfortable saying no to their family they are more likely to say no to others.

Talk about secrets that bother them – your child needs to speak up about a secret that is bothering them and confident that saying something won’t get them into trouble.  To help them feel clear and comfortable about what to share and when, explain the difference between good and bad secrets.

Bad secrets

  • Make you feel uneasy , worries, sad or frightened
  • May be asked in exchange for something
  • bad secrets don’t have an end

Good secrets

  • Can be nice things like surprise parties and presents
  • Will usually be shared in the end


Speak up someone can help – tell your child that if they ever feel sad, anxious, frightened they should talk to an adult they trust.  A trusted adult doesn’t have to be a family member ; a teacher, an aunty/uncle, grandparent a friend parent or Childline.